Oh, that negative voice… every woman has one. The voice of condemnation that tells you you’re unworthy, not good enough, that you could be better, or that you’re not doing enough.
The voice that compares you to what you see, whether it be your sister, your friend, the lady at the grocery store, or pictures online.
The voice that always questions your decisions and wonders, “Did I do it right?” and “Was that enough?”
The voice that screams things like, “jiggly thighs”, “big belly”, “spare tire” or “flabby arms” when you look in the mirror.
Women have selective attention when they think about themselves and their accomplishments. Culture and media encourage us to point out our flaws, even if it’s something we’re really striving to change.
It seems like every time I run into someone who is starting an exercise program they criticize themselves and make comparisons. Last week I met someone while I was running who was starting a walking program. It was her first day out and I could tell she felt inferior, “I haven’t done this in so long. I’m not nearly as in shape as you are.” I immediately reassured her it doesn’t matter, what matters is that you’re starting today. You’re outside on this beautiful day celebrating your health and investing in it.
I can think of countless experiences where people I meet, and even people I’ve known forever, tell me their insecurities with their bodies and fitness level. Some of the strongest, most beautiful women I know have surprised me with their lack of confidence. It makes me so sad to hear and see women put themselves down.
Why do we do that? Why ruin a good thing? We’ve got to work together to change our female mindset to “YAY! I started! I’m getting stronger. I’m getting healthier. I’ll have so much more energy. I can do this.” Celebrate it, own it, and believe that your journey to wellness is creating positive change in your life and the people around you.
I know it’s such a struggle to turn that mentality around, but let’s work together to make the shift. Try to eliminate the triggers for your negative thoughts. It may mean checking the mirror less or weighing yourself less frequently. Try to pay attention to what triggers your negative thoughts and use that as a starting point to make modifications. If your mind begins to challenge you with self-doubt, try to change the subject by walking away and finding a distraction.
Our brain’s wiring is similar to pathways. If you think about something often, the pathway gets more worn and it’s easier for you to keep thinking about it. If you can identify when the negative talk is the worst, you can create a plan to combat it. What do you want to think instead? Or would you rather shut it down by telling yourself, “I don’t think about myself like that anymore.”
It’s taken me a long time to let go of those feelings and that voice, and there are still times when I struggle.
These aren’t my jiggly thighs, they’re the strong legs that God has created for me.
My belly may not be as flat as it once was, but I made two little boys in there.
It doesn’t help to look at yourself negatively; in fact, it guides you down a toxic path to nowhere. It usually creates and environment for self-sabotage and shame.
So next time you hear that voice, talk back.